Make Love or just Sex?

Is a lot what you can hear about the intimate moments of a couple.  When the line between sex and love is being trespassed is certainly hard to say.  Men are a lot more addict to physical sensations making it easier for them to feel a sexual encounter more like sex, plain and simple without any complications other than where to do it.  Women, on the other hand, is more accustomed to feelings, romanticism and legends of princesses in distress and knights in shinning armor.

Not so long ago I heard a lady say:

“The only way in which I won’t create bounds or have feelings with you after having sex is that I don’t really like it.  And I’m not interested in finding out”

Within those words there is an immense amount of implicit content.  For her, the fact of having sex implies emotional ties, that clearly trespasses the line between (physical) sex and (emotional) love.

In some way this vision has a lot to do with that legend everybody knows, the next day call.  That is, the man has to make a phone call to the woman the day after the sexual encounter, for the sole purpose of establishing successfully the emotional tie.  Obviously, men are not really eager to do so every time they have sex.  Women, in most cases, not only wish that call to happen but even need it emotionally to feel that they did good during the encounter.  For men, the instant satisfaction, the after comment, the attitude at that same moment is what matters.  For women, details, the next day call, the small gift, the flowers some days after still are part of the whole thing.  Those factors are totally emotional and transcend banality going into the spiritual field.

Making some more questions and found several answers, all different but all aimed in the same direction:

“…look, I really think that no woman can have sex with someone without feeling emotionally involved”

I even got something even more interesting:

“I… I couldn’t have occasional sex with a John Doe, a one shot thing…  But I sure could do it (occasional sex) with a friend.”

In both cases, emotions, feelings and ties play a very important and irreplaceable role.  Not just any John Doe would be a target.  But someone with an established affective tie, a friend would be a suitable target for occasional sex.  Again, but in a different fashion, the emotional bound is present and is more than evident.

Of course, make a general assertion often leads to mishaps and mistakes, so I won’t state that 100% of women is just like this.  Nevertheless, I think that a vast majority relates hormones with the heart and no with the glandules that they should be linked to.

Thus, you all should be very careful when establishing parameters for a sexual encounter, even more if its verbally, because more often than not it happens that what men say is not what women hear.  Something like this:

What the guy says: Hey, sweetheart.  Wanna have wild sex all night long?

What the girl hears: Excuse me, my lady. Would you wish to share your body and soul with me in an encounter of the most wonderful sensations until the first rays of the dawn catch us wrapped in the most pure and sincere love?

What the guy say: But I want you to know that all I want is a one shot thing.  One night wild sex, no consequences.  After this, if I see you, I may not even remember you.

What the girl hears: But I want you to know that I love you above all things, even myself and I want to be with you during each and every single day that I have left to live.

Of course, with this kind of complex and distorted communication system all we can get is a spider web  of misunderstandings and broken hearts that, for sure we may have experienced and heard several stories.

So, what I tell you--- Guys, write down the conditions in paper.  Girls, read the small letters---  And if both of you agree (with what’s in the paper) enjoy life, health first---  Always protect yourselves.  Use condoms!

Words of Wisdom:

“A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't”

Anonymous