Tomorrow I’ll have 1 more year walking over this planet. Often, though not too much, I question myself about if I’m doing the right things. Then, when I look back into my past, it seems to me that it wasn’t a time lost. Maybe I could have make it better and do more during some days, weeks and even months--- But each decision I’ve made, each circumstance in my life and each and every movement I’ve taken have brought me here, to this very moment. And as I see it I’m with a positive balance regarding how I feel, since I feel most of time, fine.
I can very very proudly say that I got friends which I’ve known for almost my entire life. Others from not so long ago but with such quality and fondness that they count for every single day I’ve been breathing.
I can also say that I got parents that look after me as if I had one tenth of my current age and a couple sisters that, besides circumstances and difficulties, love me as much as I love them both. Cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmas and a lot of relatives that love me, respect me and remember me even if they haven’t seen me in years.
All that leads me to think that until this day I have lived my life, I have not let it go around me. I have breathed fresh air deeply, I have know specially beautiful places. I have lived love and disillusions, dreams and defeats. I have fought and stopped fights. I have been thin, not so thin and even have had overweight. I have smiled, laughed loudly, cried, felt despair, I’ve been calm during critical moments, I have shot firearms and I have cleaned and attended minor wounds. I have slept with only the sky as a rooftop.
I have made love feeling the sublime touch of it in every breath I took, the magic in every skin touch and the relax, the peace, the calmness and love itself flooding my entire being after finishing. I’ve had occasional sex and I have felt its satisfaction, totally physical, I have known it’s virtues and flaws, I have felt the passion in the flesh and the emptiness moments later.
I’ve been captivated by halogen eyes and not so bright ones, deep sights, spontaneous smiles and tender hugs. I have played whatever game that has happened to cross my path and I have played even with nieces without blood ties, but as if there were such ties.
I’ve been called, Jesus, Alejandro, a combo of those names, Guacharo, Silvarion, J, my angel, jerk and even dad (though without the actual word) and some other names and adjectives that I don’t remember right now. But that makes me be sure of one thing: I have passed through the life of a lot of people leaving a footprint there. In some cases better than others, but I can’t help it. I’m just a human and as a human I can make mistakes. All I can do is think about it and try to fix what’s wrong when I recognize it.
Yes, mine has been a life full of experiences, some good some bad, but each and every one of them with at least one lesson to learn--- The best part is that I feel I still have so many things to live that I just can feel as I’m just a newborn in this world---
In just some more hours a new cycle starts… 1 more year.
Words of wisdom:
I would give all I know for half of the things I ignore
Rene Descartes
P.D.: Happy birthday Oscuridad!!!
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