1 more year and I’m just a newborn

Tomorrow I’ll have 1 more year walking over this planet.  Often, though not too much, I question myself about if I’m doing the right things.  Then, when I look back into my past, it seems to me that it wasn’t a time lost.  Maybe I could have make it better and do more during some days, weeks and even months---  But each decision I’ve made, each circumstance in  my life and each and every movement I’ve taken have brought me here, to this very moment.  And as I see it I’m with a positive balance regarding how I feel, since I feel most of time, fine.

I can very very proudly say that I got friends which I’ve known for almost my entire life.  Others from not so long ago but with such quality and fondness that they count for every single day I’ve been breathing.

I can also say that I got parents that look after me as if I had one tenth of my current age and a couple sisters that, besides circumstances and difficulties, love me as much as I love them both.  Cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmas and a lot of relatives that love me, respect me and remember me even if they haven’t seen me in years.

All that leads me to think that until this day I have lived my life, I have not let it go around me.  I have breathed fresh air deeply, I have know specially beautiful places.  I have lived love and disillusions, dreams and defeats.  I have fought and stopped fights.  I have been thin, not so thin and even have had overweight.  I have smiled, laughed loudly, cried, felt despair, I’ve been calm during critical moments, I have shot firearms and I have cleaned and attended minor wounds.  I have slept with only the sky as a rooftop.

I have made love feeling the sublime touch of it in every breath I took, the magic in every skin touch and the relax, the peace, the calmness and love itself flooding my entire being after finishing.  I’ve had occasional sex and I have felt its satisfaction, totally physical, I have known it’s virtues and flaws, I have felt the passion in the flesh and the emptiness moments later.

I’ve been captivated by halogen eyes and not so bright ones, deep sights, spontaneous smiles and tender hugs.  I have played whatever game that has happened to cross my path and I have played even with nieces without blood ties, but as if there were such ties.

I’ve been called, Jesus, Alejandro, a combo of those names, Guacharo, Silvarion, J, my angel, jerk and even dad (though without the actual word) and some other names and adjectives that I don’t remember right now.  But that makes me be sure of one thing: I have passed through the life of a lot of people leaving a footprint there.  In some cases better than others, but I can’t help it.  I’m just a human and as a human I can make mistakes.  All I can do is think about it and try to fix what’s wrong when I recognize it.

Yes, mine has been a life full of experiences, some good some bad, but each and every one of them with at least one lesson to learn---  The best part is that I feel I still have so many things to live that I just can feel as I’m just a newborn in this world---

In just some more hours a new cycle starts… 1 more year.

 

Words of wisdom:

I would give all I know for half of the things I ignore

Rene Descartes

P.D.:  Happy birthday Oscuridad!!!

Make Love or just Sex?

Is a lot what you can hear about the intimate moments of a couple.  When the line between sex and love is being trespassed is certainly hard to say.  Men are a lot more addict to physical sensations making it easier for them to feel a sexual encounter more like sex, plain and simple without any complications other than where to do it.  Women, on the other hand, is more accustomed to feelings, romanticism and legends of princesses in distress and knights in shinning armor.

Not so long ago I heard a lady say:

“The only way in which I won’t create bounds or have feelings with you after having sex is that I don’t really like it.  And I’m not interested in finding out”

Within those words there is an immense amount of implicit content.  For her, the fact of having sex implies emotional ties, that clearly trespasses the line between (physical) sex and (emotional) love.

In some way this vision has a lot to do with that legend everybody knows, the next day call.  That is, the man has to make a phone call to the woman the day after the sexual encounter, for the sole purpose of establishing successfully the emotional tie.  Obviously, men are not really eager to do so every time they have sex.  Women, in most cases, not only wish that call to happen but even need it emotionally to feel that they did good during the encounter.  For men, the instant satisfaction, the after comment, the attitude at that same moment is what matters.  For women, details, the next day call, the small gift, the flowers some days after still are part of the whole thing.  Those factors are totally emotional and transcend banality going into the spiritual field.

Making some more questions and found several answers, all different but all aimed in the same direction:

“…look, I really think that no woman can have sex with someone without feeling emotionally involved”

I even got something even more interesting:

“I… I couldn’t have occasional sex with a John Doe, a one shot thing…  But I sure could do it (occasional sex) with a friend.”

In both cases, emotions, feelings and ties play a very important and irreplaceable role.  Not just any John Doe would be a target.  But someone with an established affective tie, a friend would be a suitable target for occasional sex.  Again, but in a different fashion, the emotional bound is present and is more than evident.

Of course, make a general assertion often leads to mishaps and mistakes, so I won’t state that 100% of women is just like this.  Nevertheless, I think that a vast majority relates hormones with the heart and no with the glandules that they should be linked to.

Thus, you all should be very careful when establishing parameters for a sexual encounter, even more if its verbally, because more often than not it happens that what men say is not what women hear.  Something like this:

What the guy says: Hey, sweetheart.  Wanna have wild sex all night long?

What the girl hears: Excuse me, my lady. Would you wish to share your body and soul with me in an encounter of the most wonderful sensations until the first rays of the dawn catch us wrapped in the most pure and sincere love?

What the guy say: But I want you to know that all I want is a one shot thing.  One night wild sex, no consequences.  After this, if I see you, I may not even remember you.

What the girl hears: But I want you to know that I love you above all things, even myself and I want to be with you during each and every single day that I have left to live.

Of course, with this kind of complex and distorted communication system all we can get is a spider web  of misunderstandings and broken hearts that, for sure we may have experienced and heard several stories.

So, what I tell you--- Guys, write down the conditions in paper.  Girls, read the small letters---  And if both of you agree (with what’s in the paper) enjoy life, health first---  Always protect yourselves.  Use condoms!

Words of Wisdom:

“A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't”

Anonymous

You can give only what you’ve got

More often than not I hear statements like: “he has to make me feel safe”, “my happiness depends on him/her” or “I can’t live without he/she”.

If you just passed your sight over those lines and don’t remember having said anything like that--- Well, congratulations! I really hope you never think or say anything near those.

We constantly have to face situations where our individuality is faced, in some way, against a friend, a partner, a lover, a family or one of the big set of different social structures that, without a doubt, we need to live and reach realization.  And that’s basically ok.  What I see as a big mistake is to have or happiness, security, comfort or realization based on someone else’s actions and commitments.

The first and most important goal in our life must be our own happiness.  Yes, you can accuse me of being totally and absolutely selfish or even egocentric; nevertheless, I say this thinking above anything else in the common wellbeing.  Some of you must be think that I’m crazy, some other must be questioning my words, and I’ll try to explain it simple.  I’m talking about reaching happiness from the inside to the outside.  Some sort of endogenous happiness.

What does that mean?  Easy. If you’re centered, peaceful and in agreement with what you are, then you can offer opinions that will be centered, peaceful and in accordance to your beliefs.  If you love yourself, you can love others because you know what and how is it, you know how to love.  Jesus Christ said: Love others as you love yourself. Te implication of these words is that you must love yourself above anything else.   When you do that, you’ll be able to love others in that same way, not before.

So, speaking in terms of a relationship, we can’t hope to be with someone that makes us happy.We should want to be with someone because we desire to share our own happiness with that person.  We shall love and be loved, not depend or let others depend on us.

If we look at it from a systemic approach – as if we were a system – we feel good when each and every single part of us is in good shape.  So if every one of us is fine, the people around us will tend to be fine and that will allow the family to be fine, thus the social structure at the next level will be fine and so on.

This premise can be applied to almost anything, let’s not make it totally general. In any case, the matter here is that we have to posses something if we want to be able to give it away.  If you posses love, you can give love, if you have peace, you can give it.  Just focus your efforts to make yourself happy and automatically you will be able to give happiness to those around you.

When you’re happy, you irradiate happiness…  You’re a good vibrations torch.  If someone sees you, If someone passes near you, If someone touches you, if someone hugs you, they will realize it and, as it were and extremely contagious virus, they will start to feel better.  That’s the way happiness and everything born from it works.  When I child smiles, when a baby laughs with that genuine innocence and happiness that only they have---  Who doesn’t, at least, get a smile painted in their lips?

 

Words of wisdom:

Happiness is highly contagious, be careful not to get a vaccine against it.

Jesus Alejandro Sanchez

Thinking Really Loud

Welcome you all.  I’ve been writing a blog about common and not-so-common things for a while now…  What’s the problem?  Is entirely in Spanish.  So I’ve decided to write give you a better translation than those of the online translators so that it can reach farther away than just the frontiers of the Spanish-speaking countries.

From now on I’ll try to keep both blogs side by side, De Decires y Pensares and Thinking Really Loud.  This is, then just a warm welcome to you all.

You can wait for the updates, starting tomorrow and if you want one ore more of the posts at De Decires y Pensares translated, just ask.  It will take me a while, but I hope to have them all here soon.